The ratio...

I was trying (and am still) really frantically trying to determine the best ratio of how my mind works...

trying to get rid of my so-called suspicious, insensitive, sceptical, or cynical (of everything)....like they say, "Try to look at something from the positive side. Make some perspectives; look at from outside the circle. Try to listen. it's no use of asking people's thinking, eventually you still end up doing the same thing"

well...

When you see things go wrong, you try to say..."I think it's right, I think I took the right decision" bla bla bla..

When you realise, something has gone off track, it is not supposed to be like the way you wished, you may say..."I told ya or you're not supposed to do that at the first place'

When you think you'll succeed, someone may say, "Are you sure? you'd better think about it over and over again"

When someone you care say something, you may think, "he/she just wanna make me happy, just wanna please me...he/she didn't mean on what they said...they're just such a damn big deceiver..."

Well....what is defined as positive or negative anyway???? ...no matter how good or bad thing is...no matter how right or wrong it is....it's damn freaking me out...

...yeaaah...am still struggling. wish i could heal from this endless madness....and keep my mind (back) on track..